Ellana Writes UK

If you have got anxiety, the best thing you can do is find environment that supports your anxiety ans somestimes about choosing the environment that protects your wellbeing and keeps you safe from the world, then rather trying to “beat it” by trying things that make you uncomfortable. Wellbeing is very subjective thing, for some people nothing beats your own home with a couple of games, your favourite shows then some meaingless “coffee morning circles”, when you can barely leave your own house.

It is not always the best advice out there “keep trying” “You will find your community” “have you tried deep breathing?” and these sort of circles can come across as patronising and often leave people feeling they are being misunderstood. As the advice comes across too generalising, great if you occassionally feel anxious but when you’ve lived with it for 12 or so years. The advice just falls flat and fails to acknolwedge severity of the disorder.

People with these disorders often don’t listen to this advice, it falls on deaf ears. So lets have that conversation now, lets stop pretending the advice we get in magazines is meaningful and start thinking “What keeps you safe?” “What keeps you comofrtable” and start treating our disorders if they were chronic illneses and not “a problem to fix”.

Heres my take :

• Calming music: I am not talking the music you might have to chill in evening with a glass of bubbly, I’m talking about the music that toneless, boring and makes you want pull your hairout.
• Mediation – This sounds good, but we haven’t always got the time to listen to mediative track when we’ve got a lot on or mid-way through a meeting, then travelling home (very unsafe) to cooking dinner when you are trying to stay awake.
• Colouring : Colouring sounds good, its been proven to be effective in some situations, but can easily remind of care home or children colouring at the dinner table with crayons. Although some colouring is very adult, but again who has the time ?
• Mindfuless : This one an obvious one, I absolutely hate its generic “catch all” used to help stress, to relieve pain, but in reality it is timewaster and didn’t help me!
• Apps such as “Calm” “Headspace”: Firstly things voice the calming voice, will get on your nerves after five minutes, and can feel like a care home and can be patronising, overly simplfied and delivered in tone a tone that’s very sleep inducing when you’ve got something to do. The other big downside is the cost £14.99 a month for Calm ” or £9.99 for Headspace. I know where I would rather spend my money “Netflix subscription. These are recomended by the NHS to people with chronic anxiety suffers to people with Bipolar!
• Deep breathing: It’s simple right you take deep breathes, great for presentation or low-stakes or one off event, but if you aregoing through a lot its not gonna cut it.

So before you waste your time or money on some miracle app, have a think about the advice you listen to and research your options. Can you replicate the same advice you would you would for presentation to major breakdown or diagnosble psychiatric disorder. Think it through.

Picture the scene: You have just found your husband/wife or partner wants divorce? How would you feel? You’ve got a billon and one questions/feelings flooding your brain at once.

This example: Your pushed in day variety different directions, let alone the time to prepare and eat dinner. Could you really careless about a mediative track you’ve heard about on “This morning” for 30 minutes or latest calming app that promises nothing but tranquil bedroom when you’ve got heavy metal in the next house and in your own brain!